It turns out I panicked for no reason. I correctly selected the Film Editing award and Tony steered me right on the Documentary Feature award. I beat Audra by a margin of two (the smallest one ever), but I still won!

(insert evil laugh here)

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My Makeup pick won. Keeping my fingers crossed for Editing on Documentary.

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The Eighth Annual Kelly-Audra Oscar Throw Down has me stressed beyond all belief. Every year my friend Audra and I have an Oscar bet and every year I whoop her ass. I always look forward to it. This year may be different however. When we filled out our ballots, it turned out that we differed on only five categories. Usually I beat her by five. So far two of those five categories have been announced, and she is up by one. Of the three categories left (Documentary, Film Editing, and Makeup) I only feel confident about my choice for Makeup. I think I have the edge on Film Editing, but I just know I am going to get hosed on Documentary. Why am I so screwed on my Documentary pick? Two words: Tony White. I based my pick solely on his recommendation. And for those of you who know Tony, you're probably asking yourself, "Why for the love of God did you listen to him?" I don't know. Temporary insanity?

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The following is from this week's RT BOOKlovers Weekly Report that I received in my email tonight. Apparently, the following message has been posted to quite a few sites:

WARNING: Amazon.com policies are NOT author-friendly. The 6,000-member Authors Guild and 278-member Association of American Publishers have protested its policy of selling used versions alongside new book listings, threatening author livelihoods. NEITHER AUTHOR OR PUBLISHER ARE PAID ANYTHING ON USED BOOK SALES. Lest anyone think authors are rich, we only get $. 47 on the sale of a $6.99 paperback. If you want to keep your favorite authors writing, buy from independent booksellers on line like Booksense.com and BarnesandNoble.com, mysterybooks.com, booksamillion.com, and 1bookstreet.com.

I've always wondered why Amazon did this since it has to cut into their profits. Could this be a sign that used listings on Amazon are on the way out?

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This is from Library Journal online:

Four suburban library districts southwest of Chicago, hoping to stave off further service cuts, are seeking tax hikes March 16, "We're at a plateau financially," New Lenox Library Director Jo Ann Potenziani told the Chicago Tribune. "If our referendum fails, we'd have to continue making service cuts." Last year, the district laid off six staff members and cut library hours from 68 to 44 a week. In Mokena, where weekly library hours have been cut by 14, a failed referendum will lead to five-day service, a loss of a day.

My library is also going to referendum on March 16. We, however, have not made any service cuts, and even if our referendum fails cutting service hours is something that is not even on the table. I'm not sure what we are going to do when our referendum fails, but I have a hunch it might involve me on the side of the road with all my possessions in cardboard boxes. Sigh. I can't tell if it's my crabbiness, depression, or pessimism that is winning my mood swing smackdown.

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In less than a week my library will be hosting our annual student art show. Every year as I watch the pieces go up I find myself wishing I had that kind of talent. This week's Field Trip Friday answers the age old question, "What's a talentless artist to do?" The answer? Visit the Mr. Picassohead website, of course!

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I just posted a review to the Caudill site from a very wise middle school student. He said:
I hate stories with morals. They're always for the good. What's up with that?!?!?!

The sad thing is, I think I might agree with him a little. Why do the majority of award nominees have to have a message? Yesterday I attended a meeting about starting a high school book award, where it was very clear that they were looking for message books. Why can't we honor books that are well written and enjoyable? Why isn't that enough for us?

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This weekend I went home to Iowa for a short visit. I hadn't been back since the beginning of January, which is a record for me. Last summer I slept four nights in my latin-ghetto apartment and three nights in Iowa, almost every week. Having had this long of a break from mom-watch, I was able to come home with fresh eyes. Here are some of the things I learned:

1) Relatives you hate should never have their own billboards
A certain cousin that I despise owns a business in town. Since the beginning of last year there has been a billboard advertising her business posted along the route I take to my mom's house. The billboard is not always in the same place, so I'm never sure exactly where I'm going to see my cousin's face smirking down on me. On Saturday I was less than a mile from my mom's house and hadn't spotted it yet, so I started to rejoice. Then I saw it, bigger and fuglier than ever. The temptation to drive my car through it was strong, but I resisted the urge. I do worry that someday my road rage will overtake me and I will plow my way through it.

2) The family dog is stalking my mother
It's true. Coco, the six pound poodle my parents got from a rescue place several years ago, is full on stalking my mom. He use to stalk my dad, so I guess it is a transference of affection thing. But it is so strange. My mom can be sitting at the kitchen table and decide to move to the chair next to her. Five seconds later the dog will have adjusted his position so he can keep on eye on her. He follows her everywhere. When she walks from one room to the next he is no more than six inches behind her. When she is sitting in our family room he needs to sit in her lap. It doesn't matter how many times she puts him down, he jumps back up. If she tries to go to the bathroom and shut the door he will scratch on it until she opens it. She even told me that she is afraid he might jump into the shower with her one day. Not that she would be scared of a six pound poodle. She's just worried he might hurt himself on the slippery tiles. He is driving her crazy though.

3) Moms can be funny
My mom does this thing that I like to call The Carol. Whenever she says something that might not be politically correct, my mother says it in a stage whisper. She has no idea she does this. She has done this all my life, and it has driven me crazy for most of it. Normally I just roll my eyes or do a mental head slap, but this weekend my mother went on a mini rant about how some of her relatives speak. Specifically, she talked about each relative's version of The Carol. All of my relatives have them. Her personal favorite was my Aunt Juanita's version, and now that I think back I remember my aunt doing this. Anytime she said something that was scandalous (in her eyes this could be saying the word Catholic), she would say it in a bit of a stage whisper and would throw in a head shake. But the head shake wasn't a small one. Oh no, it was done as if she were on a stage and people in the 13,000th row needed to see it. Her body almost quaked with the enthusiasm she used when shaking her head. Seeing my mom do her imitation of The Juanita was hysterical.

I just had a thought. If all my relatives have some personalized version of The Carol, does this mean I will develop one of my own? Or does The Kelly already exist and I'm just clueless that I do it?

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I have to wait until March 30 for another new episode of 24? What the hell?!?!? That is so wrong.

At least tonight's episode rocked the house. Although I still contend that someone needs to smack Chloe. I admire Jack for all that he does, but what I admire him most for is his ability to work with Chloe and not smack her. Same goes for Chase. That conversation in the car was really uncomfortable. It had an "I'm mad at my boyfriend" vibe. On the Palmer front, Julia squealed like a pig and Sherry is in hot water. I can't wait to see how she gets out of it.

Sadly, I have to wait until March 30 to find out. I hate waiting.

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One of the listservs I'm on (and there's a lot of them) has been having an off topic discussion about the spam they receive, both the quality and quantity. I don't pay too much attention to the spam I receive, but today I thought I would take a look. The following are the most recent subject headings listed in my inbox:

Make Someone Happy
Stretch It Out
Amplify Your Bedroom Ability
Getting Freaky Nasty in the Barn
How is your love MUSCLE doing?
Cheap Viagra
Protect Your Computer

Not only are the headings sometimes funny, they can be educational too. I think freaky nasty is going to be a permanent addition to my vocabulary.

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Caudill madness continues, but I am taking a momentary break to bring you this very important field trip. My friend Jennie has enriched my life in many ways, but I will forever be grateful to her for introducing me to The Home page of Peter Pan. That's Peter on the left. Isn't he fun? My favorite section of his website is his Fashion Page. Here you will find Peter modeling his outfits. When I'm feeling really evil I like to copy one of the images of him in a fun outfit and replace his head with the heads of my friends. And did I mention that Peter lives in Florida? Imagine how excited Audra is going to be to hear that!

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But in a good way. The past five days have been full of activity (hence me being MIA on the blog). Let me give you a run down of what has been happening:

Saturday, February 14
My students visited the library for class. I was very fortunate in that my friend Penny was willing to give up her Saturday morning to come talk to them. After her presentation she even stuck around to do a YA Literature roundtable with students who were interested in that. It was a lot of fun, but made for a very long Saturday.

Sunday, February 15
I got an early birthday present from my nutty ex-student who is upset that her grade appeal was turned down. I knew it was coming, but I do think that some people really need to learn to move on. For the past several weeks she has been sending me some very nasty email. As time progressed she widened the circle of people that received her nasty messages, which was nice for me as I no longer felt as if I were being solely targeted. At the beginning of this situation I was not amused and sometimes felt like I was being persecuted. Now that I know nothing can happen to me and the college has confirmed I did nothing wrong, I can sit back and enjoy the show.

Monday, February 16
A meeting in the morning kept me occupied for a good portion of the day. Before I knew it the time had arrived for me to go to Midway to pick up Michelle. My good friend came into town for...

Tuesday, February 17
OPRAH! That's right. Oprah was moved up a day, and it was the best ding-dong day ever. More on that tomorrow -- sorry! :-)

Wednesday, February 18
Go shorty
It's my birthday
I sipped Bacardi cause it's my birthday
Actually, I had to go to work. And Jill's not big on the Bacardi at work (only P. Diddy Mills got away with that). But it was still a really big day. The Caudill nominees were announced, which is huge for us. Then because I am now a year older I forgot my desk shift. This meant my co-workers hunted me down in my office, pitchforks in hand. After work the fun began. The Mandziaras took me out for dinner, and Sarai gave me the coolest gift ever: wine from Vampire Vineyards. It's coming all the way from Transylvania! :-)

It's now bedtime for the birthday girl (us old folks need to get more rest). I will be back tomorrow for lots of Oprah scoopage.

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It's your birthday
We're gonna party like it's your birthday
We're gonna sip Bacardi like it's your birthday

I just love 50 Cent.

I am not a happy camper to be another year older, but I am very excited that I am now only one year away from my Scary Birthday Extravaganza (SBE). For those of you not in the know, my SBE will be held February 18-21 of next year in one of my favorite places in the world: Las Vegas. When I turn my scary age I feel that I need to be in a place where it is socially acceptable for me to be drinking at 8:00 in the morning.

Initially I was going to be doing silly things like the Star Trek Experience and of course Siegfried and Roy. Unfortunately I am not going to get my gay men and white tigers action, so I am doing something even better. I'm making everyone I know and love dress up in LibraryDiva wear, and then I am dragging them to see Mamma Mia, the most enjoyable musical ever. It will make getting another year older almost worthwhile.

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Today they announced the 2005 nominees for the Rebecca Caudill Award, so I've been running around like crazy pulling books and posting to our website. I will post later in the day my thoughts on last night's 24 and why I have been MIA for the past couple of days. Until then take a gander at the new list of Caudill nominees:

Ashes of Roses by Mary Jane Auch
Doing Time Online by Jan Siebold
Heir Apparent by Vivian Vande Velde
Hoot by Carl Hiaasen
House of the Scorpion by Nancy Farmer
Kite Rider by Geraldine McCaughrean
Memory Boy by Will Weaver
Overboard by Elizabeth Fama
Phineas Gage by John Fleischman
Pictures of Hollis Woods by Patricia Reilly Giff
Ruby Holler by Sharon Creech
Runt by Marion Dane Bauer
The Shrouding Woman by Loretta Ellsworth
Stand Tall by Joan Bauer
Straw into Gold by Gary Schmidt
Surviving Hitler by Andrea Warren
Surviving the Applewhites by Stephanie Tolan
Trouble Don't Last by Shelley Pearsall
Under the Same Sky by Cynthia DeFelice
When My Name was Keoko by Linda Sue Park

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I promised I would blog while in Egypt, and since I will be leaving for Cairo to fly back in a couple of hours I figured I better get on that! :-)

My time here has been incredible. It has been a lot of hard work, but it has been fun too. I've enjoyed hearing the different viewpoints of the staff, and it has been interesting to me to see how similar there concerns are to those of my library's staff.

I will provide a complete travelogue (from my journal that I've been neglecting) when I'm back in the States (Insha'Allah).

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I just finished my tour of duty through newsletter hell, so now it is time for our weekly field trip! My friend Sarai showed me this website a few months back, and it is one of my favorite time wasters. Visit the D.Film Moviemaker website and direct your own animated movie. You can make it as long as you want by adding extra scenes. My favorite thing to do is to make the "STUD" character do really humiliating things like romance the sumo wrestler character.

Is it weird that I like to torture virtual people?

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Say it isn't so! After 43 years together Barbie and Ken are splitting up. My childhood is truly gone.

But there is some good news. Mattel has come up with a new, "single" Barbie. The story notes:
To better reflect her single status, Cali Barbie will wear board shorts and a bikini top, metal hoop earrings, and have a deeper tan.

And it turns out the makeover is working:
This new style already has attracted a new admirer, Blaine the Australian boogie boarder.

Everything always balances out for Barbie. Lose one gay boyfriend, gain another.

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Last night I was flipping through the channels when I stumbled across HBO's presentation of Shock Video 2002 (part of the "America Undercover" series). I watched for a couple of minutes and giggled at some of the bizarre things they broadcast in other countries. I was going to change the channel when I noticed the announcer's voice. It sounded very familiar to me. After a minute or so it hit me who the voice belonged to: Marcia Brady! Then I couldn't stop watching because I was completely fascinated that it was Marcia Brady saying really raunchy things.

I checked today, and Maureen McCormick was in fact the narrator for Shock Video 2002. I can't believe that was her. Some of the things she said were so dirty. And I'm not talking about your mama's dirty. It was more like Xtina's Dirrty.

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I was stunned at the end of 24 last night. I was so expecting the father of Angela to turn out to be Jack (I know, call me crazy). Chloe telling Kim that it was Chase's was the best moment those two have had on screen together EVER.

And how about Charlie Brown turning out to be a father? Sorry, but I always think of Charlie Brown when I see Chase -- especially in that skull cap he was sporting last night. That almost makes up for all the whining he did this episode. "Jack, why didn't you trust me?" "Jack, didn't you think I would follow you?" "Jack, you put a gun to my head." Shut up Chase.

Then we had Sherry being the ass kicker we know and love. I know she is sneaky and can turn on a person in a heartbeat, but if I had to do something dirty I would want her in my corner. I think I'd want her in my corner during a bar fight too.

My favorite part of the episode, however, is when Jack told Nina that everything was under control at CTU and her worm was no longer working. The grin he had on his face made me understand once again why every character on the show (male and female) are all about the Jack Love.

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With MTV moving some of their racier videos to late night, does that mean that the booty shaking videos are following? The articles I have read on this all mention Britney Spears, Incubus, and Blink 182. To me those videos seem much tamer than the booty videos I see. What about Nelly? What about the Diddy? Heck, what about Jay-Z or Beyonce? What is BET going to show since all it has in rotation are booty shaking videos? In some ways I am glad we no longer do Teen Town at my library. The kids wouldn't know what to do with themselves if they didn't have a good booty video to do their homework to.

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My crazy student who was trying to appeal her grade has FAILED! I was pretty much assuming she would get her way, but the review committee sided with me because 1) I'm not crazy and 2) I didn't do anything wrong. I was starting to doubt my abilities as a teacher, but not anymore. It feels so good to be justified.

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I can't take it any more. I know I'm adding to the problem by talking about this, but people really need to stop obsessing over Janet Jackson's nipple. It's tiny and you only saw it for about half a second. That's no reason to sue her.

My friends know I have issues with nipples, and I have been known to freak out when forced to look at them. Back in college I knew someone who took great delight in running up to my car window and pressing his pierced nipple against the glass. It freaked me out big time. But did I sue his ass? No.

If I can come out of the experience of seeing Janet Jackson's nipple unscathed, so can the rest of America.

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This week's field trip was actually suggested to me last week by my library's cataloger. While I normally do not like this gentleman, I did appreciate his pointing this website out to me. Especially after running his name thorugh the Hobbit Name Generator and seeing that his Hobbit name would be Hambut. Hee hee. Hambut. Their is also an Elvish Name Generator, for those of you who feel prettier than a Hobbit.

As a special shout out to my friend Joel (a.k.a. Peeping Joe Shizzlemah), I also invite you to visit the Ghetto Name Generator. My name was less than flattering, but fun!

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I just now put in the 1,041st review for this year's Rebecca Caudill nominees. I have officially more than doubled what we had last year! I am such a book pimp.

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Can I just say how much I love 24? Not only are we getting to bask in the dirty deeds of Sherry Palmer (I am so looking forward to her denying a man having a heart attack medicine), but last night the show finally reunited Chase and Jack. Hearts across America were filled with joy as Chase "rescued" his one true love, Jack. I'm sure the reunion even brought a little tear to my friend Mike's eye.

In further developments we found out that not only does Chloe suck my will to live, she 1) may be crazy and 2) may have stolen a baby. This shouldn't be such an issue at CTU right now since they are dealing with a very dangerous virus, but Kim feels the need to make it an issue. Even though they are minutes away from successfully completing an operation they have been working on for over a year, Kim feels the need to discuss her "concerns" with Tony. Shut up Kim. Go back and take care of the little tater tot before you get your daddy killed.

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Yesterday I left off my 52 in 52 list a book I recently read. And it's by one of my favorite authors! The book in question is:

6) Boy Meets Girl by Meg Cabot

My birthday is still a couple weeks away, but I'm already having senior moments. Help!

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One of the listservs I am on has been discussing the challenge of reading 52 books in 52 weeks (i.e. a book a week). I've decided that I am going to track what I read this year, and see how long it takes me before I have my 52 books. Since January 1, 2004 I have read the following:

1) Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris
2) Living Dead in Dallas by Charlaine Harris
3) Club Dead by Charlaine Harris
4) They Wear What Under Their Kilts? by Katie Maxwell
5) Bet Me by Jennifer Crusie

I know I've read a couple more, but these are the only ones that stand out in my memory right now.

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