I was so busy bitching about my former student I forgot today was Field Trip Friday! I can't take sole credit for today's field trip, as it I originally saw this site on Kirsten's blog. Visit the Make-a-Flake website and make a virtual snowflake. And don't worry if your clumsy with scissors like I am. You can still do it!

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Okay. For the past few weeks I have been dealing with a crazy former student who is trying to appeal her grade. Her reasons for why her grade should be raised became more and more ridiculous as the month has worn on. Today she lodged her "formal" complaint with the Associate Dean of my school, and I received a copy of it to respond to. I wasn't surprised to see that she had added a new complaint to the list, but the complaint itself was so offensive I am still shaking with anger. What was her complaint? That I took a week off during the quarter to go to Florida.

I will admit that I went to Florida in November. I went there for three days for a friend's 30th birthday extravaganza. THREE DAYS!!! Am I not allowed to have three days to myself? Last year was a really crappy year for me. I lost my father and two of the people I am closest to in this world moved away. I was owed those three days. I needed them.

As far as she is concerned, this means war.

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I know Jennie recently discussed the evils of reality television, but I must admit that I am a fan of some reality shows. Most of the time I watch because I'm a little fascinated, but I could care less if they were cancelled. There are a couple of reality shows, however, that I am passionate about. So passionate in fact that I would be throwing fits if they were ever taken off the air.

Tonight happens to be the season premiere of my favorite reality show, Family Business. Family Business chronicles the life of Adam Glasser (a.k.a. Seymore Butts), his family, and the business they run in the adult industry. The show is the polar opposite of The Osbournes. Instead of a wacky family in a normal world you have a very normal family in a wacky world.

While the behind the scenes look at the adult industry is fascinating, the true charm of this show lies in its characters. First we have Adam, a very intelligent guy who is raising his young son while looking for love outside the adult industry. For someone who also goes by Seymore Butts, this is not an easy thing. Then we have his mother, Lila. Lila is like any mom. She is very proud of what her son has accomplished and would love nothing more than for him to settle down with someone.

Finally we have Cousin Stevie. What can I say about Cousin Stevie? He is everyone's favorite. Some of his antics are unbelievable at times, and yet we all know someone like him. I think that is part of his appeal. Here are a few of my favorite Cousin Stevie moments:

1) Cousin Stevie is suppose to be picking up someone at the airport for Lila. When the person calls to say no one has showed up Lila call him on his cell phone. Stevie tells Lila that he is driving around the airport right now and can't find the person. The reality? Stevie is getting a pedicure and is not anywhere near the airport.

2) Adam needs a certain item for a shoot. He can't start filiming until he has it, so he sends Cousin Stevie to go buy it. A couple of hours later Adam calls Stevie on his cell to see why he hasn't made it back yet. Stevie tells Adam that traffic is terrible and he is stuck, bumper to bumper. The reality? Stevie is still at the store getting a lap dance in the back room.

3) Adam and Cousin Stevie go to a convetion to promote Seymore Butts and do a little business. The first day each of them has an agenda of what they are going to accomplish. Adam arrives at the convention and sees that Stevie isn't there. Realizing he made a fatal error in not bringin Stevie with him, Adam calls Stevie to see where he is at. Cousin Stevie says he is there be he can't find the Seymore Butts booth. The reality? Cousin Stevie is actually at the Fetish Convention.

I could go on and on about the exploits of Cousin Stevie. If you have a chance I highly recommend you check out Family Business. I promise, you won't be sorry!

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For my friend Paul Mills I have added the RSS Feed capability to my blog. Happy now?

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Librarians have their own special language that can at times confuse the people they are helping. Even when our lingo is used correctly, it can sometimes turn ugly. Or in this case, funny. Here's a review I received this morning from one of my students:

I have read all of this year's Caudill nominees. I cannot tell which one I enjoyed the most, but I really liked Stormbreaker because it was a great hooker. I am in the eighth grade and really critical of books, and the author of this book did a great job!!!

I too love it when books are great hookers. I'm going to burn in hell for finding this funny.

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This showed up on one of my listservs this morning, so I immediately thought, "Hmmm. Swipe that puppy and post it to your blog." What follows are some of the dating tips that can found in the LOTR trilogy:

1. When you're trying to catch the cute guy's eye is the exact moment the dwarf will pick to approach you.


2. Eating raw fish is no longer a sign of a sophisticated date. (That said, you have to admit the Atkins plan is working for Gollum.)


3. If you're the only girl among 100 guys you'll still fall for the only one who has a girlfriend.


4. When overused, terms of endearment such as "precious" lose their meaning.


5. All couples fight, but battles shouldn't last so long that one of you has to get up and stretch your legs or use the bathroom.


6. It doesn't matter if you look like Liv Tyler; your pining and whining will still get on people's nerves.


7. Don't blame your friends just because they can see right through your creepy little partner.


8. If you can get along on a road trip, the relationship will probably last.


9. There will come a point when it seems like the relationship should be over. Don't drag it out. Just end it there.


10. And finally, the mother of all dating wisdom: Some people will go to any lengths to get a ring; others, having had one for awhile, will go to any lengths to chuck it into a volcano.

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All this week they have been showing LOTR: The Two Towers, and every time I happen upon it I always have to stop and watch the big battle scene. I don't know why it fascinates me, but it does. The only theory I've come up with so far is that during this sequence you can really see the affection between Legolas and Gimli. And while I already love Legolas for being such a pretty boy, I really love that he seems to dig short, chubby redheads.

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Hee, hee. I love that quotation from last week. It is the best thing Chloe has said all season on 24.

I was so excited when I realized that I had made it through almost two-thirds of 24 tonight without a painful Chloe-Kim moment. And as soon as I thought, "Woo hoo, no painful scene with the two of them tonight," Chloe calls Tony and asks for Kim to come to her office. UGH... What is it about the two of them in a scene together? It is by far the most painful television viewing experience EVER.

Anyway, the reason Chloe wants to see Kim is so she can have her take care of her baby (thus allowing her to go do her job). What the hell? Why would you ever leave your baby in Kim's care? She's a menace. Everything she touches turns to crap. It's a miracle Jack is still alive after raising her. After all her misadventures I'm sure CTU looks like a piece of cake to Jack.

After Kim fails miserably at caring for the baby after only 15 minutes (and she was a nanny last year), the baby starts crying and alerts everyone to the fact that she is still there. Chappelle wants to suspend Chloe for bringing the baby to work, but Michelle says that they need her. Chloe asks (in the snippiest tone ever) who is going to take care of her baby since she has work to do. Chappelle volunteers Kim to do it. Again I ask, what the hell? I can't decided which is worse: 1) Chloe thinking she is owed child care by CTU or 2) Chappelle acknowledging the fact that Kim is useless and can be sacrificed for Chloe's nanny demand.

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I get tired of things easily, so we will see how long I let my blog look like this. Although I do like the pinkness of it.

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I now have over 800 reviews on the Rebecca Caudill Young Readers' Book Award website. Last year I had 519 reviews, which was huge. If I make my goal of 1038 reviews by March 12, I will be throwing a big ol' party at my apartment. No one will want to come to my apartment in the Latin Ghetto, but I will be partying just the same.

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Those who know me know that I am not a big crier. In fact, I would say that I am dead inside. I'm a little more emotional since my father's passing, but for the most part I am still an ice queen. Except for today. Today I got news that my friend Joel (the annoying little brother I'm so glad my parents never gave me) got engaged. And I am ready to burst into tears because I am so happy for him. The only thing stopping me is that I am on the desk right now, and bursting out into the ugly cry would not be a good thing. But as soon as it is 3:00 p.m. and I am safely back in my office it will be ugly cry city.

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On Saturday Kirsten posted a message to her blog about LOTR: Return of the King and the "relationship" between Sam and Frodo. This has been a favorite topic of conversation between me and my friend Jennie ever since the first film came out, so let me bend your ear just for a moment on this important issue.

To me, the relationship between Sam and Frodo has always seemed filled with lots of sexual tension. At the end of the first movie Sam was so dogmatic about not letting Frodo go off on his own, my gaydar started to hum just a little. I wondered about them, but then brushed it off as too much time spent around speech team boys.

It's in the second movie that I think we really see the relationship between the two of them come out of the closet (so to speak). First, Sam is insanely jealous of Gollum. He is always giving Gollum a sneer that says, "stay away from my sweetums, Mr. Frodo." Near the end of the film Frodo holds a sword to Sam's throat and looks like he is going to kill him, until Sam says to him, "It's me. It's your Sam. Don't you know your Sam?" Again, my gaydar goes off, only this time the humming is a little louder. As the film ends Frodo gives a lovely little speech about how important Sam is to the his mission and (more importantly) to him. My gaydar started going crazy at this point.

And then we get to the final installment in the LOTR trilogy. Let me start by saying I really loved this movie, because I did. But of the three movies, this one by far had the most homoerotic overtones. There were times during this film I was convinced that Frodo and Sam were going to kiss, and I found myself wanting to yell at the screen, "Just do it already." And when they got to the part where Sam started to carry Frodo up the mountain all I could think was that Sam doing that for Frodo was one of the most romantic things I had seen in a movie in a really long time. I want some guy to carry my ass up Mount Doom. Really, I do.

I saved my favorite moment for last. The scene where Frodo wakes up at Rivendell was beyond anything my gaydar could comprehend. When the hobbits started romping on Frodo's bed all I could think was, "Dude, this has to be the gayest moment captured on film that was not meant to be gay." I don't think Peter Jackson necessarily meant for there to be a gay undercurrent in his movies, but it is definitely there. I can't help but think that a little hobbit-on-hobbit action might have guaranteed him an Oscar this year.

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I've been looking forward to Febraury (despite it being my birthday month), and now that it is almost here I am really excited! Why, you ask? Well for one thing, the past couple of weeks have been craptacular, and I really want the month of January to be over. Second, February is the month that I will get to hear Michael Cart speak (a huge YA advocate), something I have wanted to do since I was wee baby librarian. In addition to hearing Michael Cart, I am also going to get to meet Jennifer Crusie at the end of February.

And if my excitement about the month of February wasn't enough, I get a call last night from my friend Michelle inviting me to go see Oprah with her on February 18 (my birthday)! I know that the show topic will be something horrible like "You and Your Vagina," but I'm still pretty excited about going.

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Okay. I usually ask myself this every week, so now I'll ask my question here. What the hell was Carrie wearing? And why are people always talking about the clothes on this show? Yes, I will admit that there have been some really sweet outfits in the past. And yes, I appreciate everything the show has done to make it acceptable for white girls to wear ghetto gold. But that does not excuse the travesty that was Carrie's skirt at the beginning of tonight's episode. A buttload of ruffles on a skirt is not a pretty thing. What was up with that?

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And that news is worth three exclamation points. I just saw on the TV Guide website that Lorenzo Lamas has joined the cast of The Bold and the Beautiful. His first airdate is February 18, the same day as my birthday. Coincidence? I think not. It's kind of nice to see that the Renegade star has career after Are You Hot? The Search for America's Sexiest People. Who knew? Now if he was only playing Reno Raines on B&B.....

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I saw a cool idea tonight on another blog, and I'm stealing it for my own.

I declare today and every Friday henceforth to be Field Trip Friday. Every Friday I will hunt out a fun and in no way educational place to go on the net. Can I get a big WOO-HOO for uneducational experiences?

This week's field trip is to the Very Secret Diaries. My personal favorites of the Very Secret Diaries are the diaries of Aragorn and Legolas. Enjoy! :-)

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Work has already begun on compiling the nominees for the 2005 BBYA list. So far there are twelve titles on the list, but only a couple I'm excited about. The book I'm most excited about is Alex Flinn's Nothing to Lose(coming in April):

I shouldn't have come back to Miami…I've been escaping cops' notice for a year now-the year since I ran away. I'm no longer Michael Daye, high school athlete with a promising future. Now I look like someone with no future. I look like a carny.

A year ago, Michael's life seemed pretty good, at least from a distance. But look closer, and he was a guy on the edge, his stepfather's violent rages making his world spin out of control. Then, Michael met Kirstie, who offered an escape - a traveling carnival with a "no questions asked" policy. He grabbed it, leaving his old life and his mother behind.

This year, Michael is back in Miami, and his mother is charged with murdering his stepfather. As the day of her trial nears, Michael wonders how much longer he can hide from his past…and his future.

The other nominated titles are:
Sign of the Qin by L. G. Bass (coming in April)
Doing It by Melvin Burgess (coming in June)
The Cheating Culture: Why More Americans Are Doing Wrong To Get Ahead by David Callahan
Al Capone Does My Shirts by Gennifer Choldenko (coming in March)
The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen (coming in May)
Me and Orson Wells by Robert Kaplow
The Outcasts of 19 Schuyler Place by E.L. Konigsburg
The Realm of Possibility by David Levithan (coming in August)
When We Were Saints by Han Nolan
Tangled Threads: A Hmong Girl's Story by Pegi Deitz Shea
Double Helix by Nancy Werlin (coming in March)

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I need to go to bed, but I am up playing Movie MahJong on the Lifetime TV website. Yes, I am not smart enough to play real MahJong, so I play the version brought to us by the same people who bring us films like "Co-Ed Call Girl." And FYI, "Co-Ed Call Girl" is a Tori Spelling classic. Unlike Donna Martin from 90210, her character dresses like a whore because she is a whore. Is it sad that I know this?

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This is a direct quote attributed to William McClure, the Scalawag of the Week for Creative Loafing. This article is one of many you'll find about the misadventures of the Atlanta-Fulton Public Library board.

Every few days I check the AFPL WATCH website to catch up on the latest news about Mary Kaye Hooker and her posse. No matter how many crackers you work with, it's always comforting to read about others out there who have it worse than you.

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How cool am I posting twice in the same day?

One of my responsibilities as WebDiva of my library's little corner of the world is posting student reviews to our Caudill website. I share with you now a recent favorite of mine that was submitted for Hidden Talents by David Lubar:

Hidden Talents was a terrible book. It swore a lot and it was very inappropriate. No one should read it if they are under 12. I think David Lubar is a Communist.

I don't know why this review makes me happy, but it does. What does that say about me?

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Today marks the first day of me trying to be a blogger. I'll be the first to admit that I don't really get the whole blogging phenomenon. I have blogs that I visit every day, but the idea of having my own blog never appealed to me. Until now (of course).

What changed? I'll admit that I have been thinking about starting one of these for a while now. But what really got the ball rolling for me was an email from an old friend inviting me to check out her blog. I hadn't been in touch with Kirsten in over five years, but as I read her archived posts I was able to get caught up on what had been going on in her world. How cool is that?

So here is my attempt to emulate Kirsten. I realize that I will never be as witty as she is, and I can't promise that I will post on a daily basis. But I will try. And if I am a complete slacker and rarely post, you will just have to find it in your heart to forgive me! :-)

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